My Son is Not a Thief

But apparently the folks at Fisher Price as well as every other toymaker think he is.

Between the calm family birthday back in North Carolina and the cupcake playdate I hosted for 8 1-year-olds in the backyard, we received some very nice toys. But as I spent approximately 10 minutes getting 5 little toys cars off cardboard that were attached with tape, plastic and wire that was twisted AND then tucked under, I began to ponder why my $150 Ipod was easier to open than the $8 toy cars. There must be an unreported trend in 1-year-old thievery because obviously it's much easier to trust a 16-year-old who wants an Ipod.

I reasoned that in some back room, an engineer of parental frustration at Mattel who obviously doesn't have a kid of his own think my 1-year-old is going to sneak into Target, climb to the top shelf, grab the toy cars, slide them into his diaper and slip out the front door and into his car seat without me seeing him.

Sure, tape the toys in. I can even understand a little wire. But really, do you need to twist it 20 times, tuck it under twice and no lie, wrap it twice around the car wheels???

Really, couldn't they have put some kind of warning label on there for parents that said "Stupid, just grab the scissors." I mean, that would have helped on the first four cars, instead of figuring it out on the fifth and last car.